Holding it together

After I came back from India, I made a pack with myself that I would not let it get to me when I came home. I wept for the things I saw there, but that was over with in Bowling Green. Which meant for a week straight, I barely processed anything that happened to me and kept most things with people in the surface.

I was afraid, that if I had my heart broken and had a hard time with it, I and my supporters would think, "maybe she shouldn't have gone."

Well, I am beginning the processing. Which means, I am allowing my heart to finish breaking. I want to be messed up over this. I am messed up over this.

It's not easy, and it shouldn't be. The lives of some of the people I have encountered are not easy. The very least I could do is break my heart for them. To let it seep into the cracks of my soul so I never stop thinking about them and never stop praying for them.

I feel it's important.

and I wanna talk about it. I wanna talk about it endlessly. Because stories are important, too.

and it's the morning so I'm rambling and somewhat confused but, I want you all to know this.